Sensual massage for women

An interesting thing has been occurring, in the last week and a half I have received calls from two different men who were looking to book massages for their girlfriends. They start out asking if I massage women and I say yes I offer a Swedish massage, the first guy said "oh, ok" and got off the phone. The second guy actually started by asking if I massage couples but I don't because I work alone and then he asks if I massage women, I told him I do a Swedish massage for women and then he asks if I do other types of massages but doesn't come straight out with it so I ask him exactly what he has in mind and he said he wants to get her a sensual massage. I said I don't do sensual massage for women.

I find it interesting though that it's men making these calls and not the women calling themselves. I am guessing it is probably the man's fantasy and they would probably want to be present during the massage and watch or participate in a session :-) I had someone once say that he would love to watch me massage a woman. I am neither a lesbian nor bisexual but massaging women might be less trouble than massaging men, if only I was willing to find out but I am not, oh well.

Shaving chest and genital hair

I have been noticing more and more clients are shaving their chest and genital area and I even had a guy who also shaved his legs. I think hair on a man's chest is masculine but a hairy back, not so attractive. I can understand removing hair from the back and even trimming overgrown genital hair down a bit. I don't really get the whole clean shaven look and I have also seen one older man who had obviously shaved his chest hairs. I can feel the stubbles and it's prickly to the touch and I always wonder why a man would want to do that. I don't like shaving my legs or genitals but do it out of necessity only, although, I have had men call and ask if I am unshaven so there are men out there who are into hairy women.

Maybe they like the neat look but it just seems weird to me to have a hairless man on my table. Curiosity just might lead me to ask one of these guys why one day.

Teeny Weeny Grabby Guy

I hate offering discounted massages, the first time I advertised a $20 discount was not bad, I received several calls from people wanting to come in but I was only able to see two new clients that day because I had other things to do. It's been a slow week so I thought I could bring in some people by offering a discount in my ad this morning. I got a call from this guy who saw my ad and wanted a massage. This guy with big shoulders showed up and took him to my massage area, collected payment and left him to get undressed. When I returned he was lying on his stomach, as most good clients should, I saw that he did have big shoulders but from the waist down he was pretty tiny. As I massaged his back he reached out and rubbed my thigh and this continued for a while but I was not bothered because he was within my comfort zone. I usually spend some time teasing the balls and I have easier access to do this by kneeling on the floor near my table.

Apparently me being in this position gave him a good angle to reach out and touch the side of my breast, which I usually don't allow but I figured it was harmless since they are covered anyway and he was only touching the side. Big mistake, he took it as a sign I guess, he started grabbing and squeezing hard and I had to tell him that that was not allowed. I got up and went around to start working on his front and his hands were rubbing all over my underwear. At this point I saw that he was also tiny down there and I start working to get the teeny weeny to get up but his hands were going everything and I kept moving away but he would grab somewhere else. He hands got past the perimeters of my underwear a couple of times before I moved away. I was getting upset at this point and just wanted to get it done so he could leave but there was no erection although he seemed quite excited. It got to the point where I physically removed his hand from my underwear and asked if he had read my ad because I am not an escort and what he was doing was getting in the way of me giving him what he paid for. I usually go overtime a few extra minutes before I finish a massage but I stopped a few minutes early with him. He did not get a happy ending, I guess it was more important to him to touch someone, even if it was unwanted. After he was dressed and ready to leave he looked ridiculously meek, ugh! This is the type of client I really dislike because they disregard boundaries and are cheapskates. I cancelled the discounted ad after he left.

@@@@ Massagetr@ll

I don't really want to advertise this horrible website I found but over the last couple weeks I noticed that a lot the calls I have been receiving were people looking for more than a happy ending massage even though in my ad I state that I only do massage. I did a search of my phone number and found a couple of my ads on a site I never advertised on. The page was littered with naked women and I was overdressed. Apparently the site takes ads from craigslist and backpage and adds a line that implies that the person in the picture can be found on some other site and offers other services, I did not click on the link to the other site (I saw enough crap on massagetr@ll to get what they are about) both sites are probably owned by the same person or they are affiliated. They have the nerve to stamp the bottom of my stolen pictures with their name and even though I contacted them to remove it, the ads are still up. I think I have figured out a way to prevent future ads from been stolen though.

I had one guy who sounded quite nervous and very young call me to make an appt. and then after he made the appt he asked if I provide full service and I told him no, he didn't cancel the appt. but I suspected he was not going to show up. Spoke to another guy who asked what kind of massage I do and I asked if he read my ad, he said yes but wanted to know if I end the massage with a handjob or blowjob. I said handjob and ended the call. I am finding that most (read: all) men don't bother to read the ad, I tried to prevent that by putting my phone number at the end but they simply skip to the end and get the number. My ad would take less than I minute to read and it gives important info but these men call and ask questions that are already answered in the ad and it just gets annoying. On the other hand I guess it's good that they aren't showing up for an appt. with the expectation of getting more than a handjob and end up being disappointed. It seems some of the recent callers might be finding "my ads" on the site I didn't advertise on and the others are just guys who are too lazy to read the freaking ad before calling me.

I am barely ok with ending my massages with a handjob so a blowjob is not an option I would consider doing to a stranger. The things I have learned in the last few months have showed me how naive I have been in the past but now that I am here I have to keep reminding myself that doing this type of work cannot and will not be a longterm thing for me.



***They finally removed my ads from the site almost 3 weeks after I emailed them, yay for me***

Penis envy

I wish guys would understand that size doesn’t matter as much as knowing how to use what you do have. So far, it’s been the older guys that seem to feel overly concerned with size. The younger guys are too busy attempting to see how much they can get away with to worry about size. It’s interesting that the men who have expressed concerned over size are not the smallest penises I have seen. I have never liked painful sex and I don’t think most women enjoy it either and an average size penis is just right unless the owner is too busy going on and on about how it’s not big enough. In these cases I just want to say “shut up and enjoy the hand job will ya?” -:)

I set a new deadline for myself

I have been doing a lot of thinking the last few week and I have decided that I will continue doing sensual massages for the next 6 months, which is still within my initial plan to not go past a year with this. I find myself avoiding taking calls and only seeing clients when my finances can't stretch any further. I know ending a massage with a happy ending is illegal here and even though I feel people should be able to make their own decisions, I think doing this bothers me in a moral sense as well and that's why it's been a struggle for me so far. I think in a way I feel like I sold my soul to the devil and I need to have something to show for it, therefore, I will continue for now. I was raised Catholic, haven't stepped into a Catholic church in years but I guess some of that "Catholic guilt" lingers on. I have to get past that and start making this work for me so that I will be in a different place financially by my deadline.

I've been discovered (I thought) and second thoughts

I saw two new older clients today, probably both in their 60's so I guess the older crowd didn't all disappear. The first guy is someone I have seen at a place I go to, although, I don't actually "know" him he has definitely seen me there as well. I didn't even realize it was him until after he left, maybe he thought I just didn't want to acknowledge him but I was clueless until after. I expected at some point that something like this would happen. I don't particularly care about his opinion but there are other people he might say something to and I have suspected that some others might be aware of the new services I now offer.

***Turns out it was NOT the guy I thought it was, I thought he had dyed his gray hair black but it wasn't him. Phew!****

My ad is not disguised in any way and the way I look makes me stand out like a sore thumb. Even before this incident today, I have spent the last couple of days wondering if I really want to continue doing sensual massage. I don't feel bad about venturing into this but I also don't want to be known only as the happy ending massage girl. I think that my deciding to do sensual massage was my way of trying to gain some control over a situation that I felt powerless in and now I worry that if I attempt to go the route of therapeutic massage again I would just end up frustrated once again.

I think offering this service has helped me become less judgmental about other people, prior to this experience I thought women who provided happy endings were a disgrace to the massage community and now that I have walked in those shoes I see how it could happen. Everyone's story is different but for me money has played a huge part. I wasn't really making much doing legitimate massage and I was getting angrier with each encounter where I was propositioned to do more. So I made the conscious decision to go this route and now just a few months later I am questioning whether that decision was the right one for me.

Cheaters cheat because they can

I found happyendingz the blog by CJ (an erotic masseuse) a couple of months back while searching the topic online, before I actually made the final decision to start providing this service and I have really enjoyed reading it. Lately there's been a huge discussion/mudslinging going on over the topic of married men getting hand jobs from masseuses and whether is it cheating. Before I decided to do hand jobs the married men who came to me and were expecting a happy ending were the most upsetting clients for me because they just reinforced to me that men could not be trusted.

Due to some past issues I have been reluctant to let anyone into my life because I could not trust people. When I get an obviously married man on my table who is looking for extras it used to piss me off to no end. Since I started doing hand jobs I realize that I have to be detached from this work or I could get easily overwhelmed. I am starting to look at relationships and even life differently, people do things for all kinds of reasons that I may never understand. If I get to a place in the future where a relationship is possible for me, mentally I know I am not there now and absolutely not while I am still giving hand jobs to men, it would have to be someone I trust completely and if that trust gets betrayed he would be out the door. I may be guilty of some things but I only have control over my own actions and I refuse to take responsibility for another adult's decisions.

I do think that married men getting hand jobs from women other than their wives are cheating but at the end of the day the masseuse does not force anyone to pick up the phone and make an appointment. I feel the problem is between the couple and any woman who finds out that her man has been getting hand jobs needs to place the blame where it belong, on the cheating man since he is the one who is supposed to be committed to her and made the choice to step outside that commitment. It sucks but sometimes life throws lemons at you and you can either learn to love lemonade or quit.

Please stay away from my @sshole!

I have been thinking about offering prostate massage but I need a guinea pig and my older gentleman client (I'll refer to him as "First" from now on :-) says he has no interest in it. When I massage the perineum area the men seem to reaaalllllly like it and I have read that some men find it very enjoyable. I have gloves and lube but no prostate to massage.

This kind of brings me to my topic, men and their fascination with buttholes. I have no interest in getting anything anywhere near my butthole but some men I have dated in the past seemed to want to attempt to stick their finger in there and for me that is a one way street. I have/had a client who was attempting the same thing while I was massaging him last week. I wear panties/women boy shorts and a lace cami during the massage and I keep them on. I allow some touching within limit and inside the panties is off limits. This guy kept trying to go to no man's land and I kept moving away and he would grab my arm tightly, this happened several times and I eventually just stood still and clenched tightly while I finished jerking him off. In my experience, guys who don’t respect the set boundaries will just keep trying to do more each time you see them. This was his second session with me and he asked if he could come back, he gave me a very generous tip but it won't make up for him ignoring my boundaries and leaving a bruise on my arm. He is now on my "avoid" list.

Where have all my old men gone?

I just realized that I am not getting any new older clients coming for massage. Initially, it seemed most of the men who contacted me were 50+, there was even one guy who looked and walked like he must have been 80. Sweet guy, he brought me roses from his garden the second time he came to see me and then he would call to say hello but I think he was living on a limited income and couldn't really afford coming to see me so I didn't encourage him to keep contacting me. I think I was attracting older guys because I was dressing more conservatively and now that my clothing in my ads reveals some skin it is attracting the younger guys in their 30's. I miss the older men; they are usually better behaved, for the most part. The one older guy still getting a message from me is the one who was my happy endings guinea pig. I told him I liked him because he was not pushy and I think he was looking for things to go further between us and I have certainly let him get closer to me over the last months than anyone else but he is still a client and I have to keep within my boundaries and comfort zone. He even advised me to smile more in my ads when we first met, although, I don't know whether he likes the newer ads showing more skin or not.

Pushy Bob

When I started doing massage again after my hiatus I placed an ad on craigslist and one of the clients I got was “Bob1.” Right from the onset I did not have a good feeling about him and as soon as I touched him he would grind and moan, my ad stated therapeutic massage only and I was determined that I was not going to allow men like him to bother me this time around so I ignored his behavior. I always used a drape but was never one to avoid massaging the glutes and thighs and he would say that I was teasing because I would not do a happy ending.

He was very generous with tips but also seemed to want to exert some control. Once, after a session he asked about making another appt. for the end of the week at a certain time and I said I wasn’t sure if that time would work and asked him to call me. He called and left a message, asking after that time but I did not get back to him. He showed up anyway and stood outside knocking for a while before finally leaving. During his next appt. he never mentioned showing up here and neither did I.

He always seemed to want to linger around after his massage when I really wanted him to leave. With each appt. he was getting grabbier and after his last session with me he proceeded to grab me and massage my back after I had declined his offer of a massage as I was leading him out the door.

I didn’t hear from him for a while and then he suddenly started calling again and would leave messages about wanting an appt. but I never returned his calls. He would call every time I put up a new ad and sometimes even when I didn’t have an ad up, sometimes it would be a couple of times a week and I kept ignoring the calls hoping he would eventually give up. I think it got to a point where he was calling just to be annoying because I was not taking his calls.

I think he called from another phone pretending to be someone else and made an appt. that was a no show and there have been no more calls from him since then so I hope he has moved on now. I know he has been going to massage parlors for years so he could easily have moved on to the next girl who would be willing to take his money and make him happy. For whatever reason he seemed to think that he could force me to see him again and that will never happen because he gives me the creeps!

Bargain Hunters

What is it with some guys trying to bargain down the rate of a sensual massage, I mean seriously? I just got off the phone with some guy who said he saw my ad and wanted a sensual massage but wanted to know if I would take $90 instead of the $100 listed in my ad. I told him I don't bargain and got off the phone. I understand the economy is not that great but a sensual massage is not a necessity and if you are so hard up for cash that you need to haggle the cost then perhaps your priorities need to be reexamined. I realized a while ago that I don't want these types of clients anyway because they are too cheap, usually won't tip and expect way too much for what they pay and I don't like doing a massage angry. I didn't start doing sensual massage because I find getting strange men off to be a turn on, I enjoy the work in the moment but it is a "job" nothing more and nothing less. If you can't afford to pay then do the job yourself :-)

Stinky D

Ok, this guy has been to see me twice and I can't figure out if he smells bad from BO or from not wiping after a BM, either way he stinks. I saw him for the first time about 3 weeks ago, he wanted a 30 minutes massage. I didn't initially smell him until I got close enough to start the massage. That first time I thought maybe he didn't get a chance to go take a shower after working (in a sewer) or something. The smell was tolerable and besides, he only wanted a half hour massage. I usually ask the guys to turn over so I can work on their front and they eagerly do so. This guy got on all fours instead and stuck his butt out and I am thinking, "this is different" but I go with it and he is getting very excited and then yells "stop, stop!" I immediately stop and ask if he is hurt and he says no it just felt really good and he is rubbing himself but apparently does not want an ending. That was an odd session.

About a week later he calls again for another 30 minute appointment, I agree to see him that afternoon. This time, the smell is apparent before I even get close to him and I do think it is a combination of BO and unwashed arse. I can't even pretend to put a smile on my face because the smell is so powerful and I attempt to hold my breath as I start working on him. I am using fingertips only and keeping my distance from him and mentally noting that I will not be taking any more calls from him. He decides that he wants to turn over and when he does I see a wart on his lower pelvis area and I knew that if he wasn't already going on my "avoid list" he would be after this. I am still barely touching him and I guess I was moving too slow for him so he grabs his junk and gives it a couple of swift tugs and he gave himself a happy ending and says "thanks, that was good." I am standing there trying to not look at the wart on his stomach and trying to decide whether to throw out the sheets that he is on or wash them separately from the rest of the laundry load.

After he leaves, I make a mental note that I will include having good hygiene in my new ads and I am seriously considering wearing gloves from now on. Some guys might enjoy it....

Why I decided to offer erotic massage

If someone had told me six months ago that I would be providing erotic massage services to men I would have laughed because I never saw myself as "that type" I was more the type that was disgusted at the masseuse who provides that type of services and the customers who go to them. I did my first sensual massage (hand job) towards the end of June after some thought. I think people who know me personally would be very surprised if they knew that I crossed that line because I have always been very vocal about my dislike for the customers who seek happy endings. After massage school I was pretty unprepared to deal with clients that I encountered when I first started advertising on craigslist. I learned the hard way that just about everyone who responds to an ad from there is looking for "extras" even when, or especially when the ad states that you only do therapeutic massage, I think they see it as a challenge.


My first couple of months following massage school was frustrating because although most were respectful once I told them I was not providing those types of services many of the men claimed to have problems with their glutes and/or thighs in order to get me close to their genitals anyway. After about five months of this I was so angry that I took about a year off from doing massage and I started back last year to basically find the same types of men. I also started using another site that was similar to craigslist but the men on this site were more forthright about what they were looking for, most were not pretending to have some issues with their glutes/thighs.


I always wore pants and a top when doing a massage and I had offers to be paid more if I disrobed or did extras and I always declined. As the summer started business was slow and I had an older gentleman who came to me for a massage for the first time and he raved about what a great massage I gave (no happy ending). We talked quite a bit about everything and the topic came up and he said that it was fine if I don't provide that service he would be back anyway and he gave me a pretty big tip, for the first time I did not feel resentful towards a male client. I think I had started to reconsider my stance on sensual massage at that point and I told myself that it would not be the end of the world if I did cross that line. Also doing therapeutic massage was not bringing in a lot of clients and money was always a problem.


That gentleman returned and this time I ended the massage with the best hand job I knew how and he was pleasantly surprised. Over the next couple of months when he wasn't traveling he would get a weekly massage and I have polished my skills on him. In September I started advertising that I was providing sensual full body massages and the response have been quite good. I am trying to be more selective of who I accept now. When I feel I need a break I do not see clients for a week or two. I do not do massage in the nude, I now wear a sheer or crop top with some panty. Some men do get grabby and have I sometimes allowed a hand to wander up and down my legs only but most of the time I am out of their reach. I have been offered more money to go topless and have declined.


As of right now I feel ok with this and I am trying to have a plan in place so that I will not be in this situation in a year because this is not something I see myself doing on a long-term basis. The men are obviously getting something out of it and I am going to make sure that I get myself in a better financial position in the coming months so that I do not feel a need to continue this unless I want to.