So I have decided to stop providing sensual massage earlier than planned. After some not so pleasant experiences in November that made me stop and think I realized that I could not continue. Even though my plan was to only do it for a short time while I save some money, it didn’t seem worth it to continue. I spent plenty of days not working due to me avoiding taking calls, which meant I was just barely getting by anyway so I am returning to doing what I feel comfortable doing.
All my new ads no longer include sensual massage, although, I am getting less calls I feel fine with that. I have seen one client so far, he was respectful of the fact that nothing extra is available. I did receive a call yesterday from a guy who said he just saw my ad and had some questions, I knew he wasn’t just looking for a massage. He asked how long my table was because he is 6 and a half. I asked him to explain and he said that’s how tall he is. Ok, then he asks if I am good and how long I have been doing “this.” I said I have been doing massage almost 4 years. Then he said he has a request; he wanted to know if while he was on the table I would tell him how big and well-endowed he is? I told him I am not providing a happy ending massage for anyone and if he read my ad it is a regular massage otherwise I would be charging a lot more. After a pause, he replies, “so you won’t tell me that I am well-endowed?” My reply was “no” and I hung up. I am glad to not have to put on any pretense with these types of guys anymore. I am not going to stroke some guy’s um ego for an extra $30-$40 while his behavior pushes my self esteem down the toilet. I only want to do things that are in alignment with my future plans and erotic massage is not it.
I get asked if doing the hand jobs was a turn on and I can answer with a resounding “NO!” Imagine you have a job to do and that’s what it was (and some guy that you have zero attraction to) keeps trying to grab and fondle you. A few times I ended up with bruises from some guys rubbing or grabbing me too roughly, and that’s with the very limited touching I allowed, I can only imagine if I had allowed more. God bless those people who can do this for years and not be affected by it, I really don’t see how they do it
14 comments:
Thank you for filling us in on what you are doing and how you came to your decision. It's a very human story. I had a hard time seeing you being able to continue with the erotic massage thing considering the negative experiences you were having with it. I think your gut was telling you what you could and could not stand doing much better than your head was.
I'm not sure where this leaves you with your blog. I will continue to check in here to see if you have continued to write anything further. I want you to do well and I hope to hear about it here, if you care to tell us. Best of luck to you! I feel like you have allowed me to stand in your shoes and see what it felt like to go through this experience. As a result, I feel myself caring about how you are doing and hope that you find a path that will be successful for you. God bless you.
Joe
Joe,
Thank you for your kind wishes and you are quite perceptive. I am going to soon start studying for certification in another health field that will also allow me to do massage but in a different environment that should eliminate the majority of the types of clients I don't want to deal with.
This experience has helped me also to see that not only "bad or disgusting" massage therapists can cross that line into doing erotic work, and there are a few clients who are not creeps, so I have to check some of my own judgments.
The blog has been therapeutic for me in a way and I am thankful for the advice I received here, they were very helpful. When the time’s right I hope you find the lady who’s perfect for you and please continue to treat your masseuse like a human :)
Thank you! -- for you kind wishes and for sharing yourself with us. Again, all my best thoughts and wishes go out to you.
<3 (it's supposed to be a heart)
Joe
Congratulations on taking the first step toward taking your career back. I hope you start implementing some of the suggestions that I made a little while back re: implementing a business plan. Go where the good clients are and show them why you are a good value.
Conversely, stay away from where the bad clients are. I don't know if you are still on Craigslist but I just looked on Craiglists for my hometown and clearly most of the "therapuetic" massage listing are fronts for sensual massages. I could see why the mere presence of an advertisement on a site like that would give the impression that a HE is offered.
Good luck!!!!
- Andy
Andy,
Thank you for stopping by and for the invaluable advice you gave me. I am very grateful that you took the time to share what you did. I fully plan to follow up with the things I think will work for my business. I have a business plan I put together a couple of years ago but it definitely needs revising and I will be working on that.
You are absolutely correct about craigslist, even though I only ever posted therapeutic ads on there it never brought me anyone who really wanted therapeutic work and the other site like it, where I do still have ads is the same way. Unfortunately, for now the places to advertise to more legitimate clients are not bringing in clients so for about the next 2-3 months I will probably still have to accept people from the sites I would rather not be on, I need to earn the money for the new certification I am planning to get. However, I have absolutely no intention of doing any more HE and no interest in having the people from these sites as repeat clients. My ad states what type of massage I provide and what I charge, if someone reads more into the ad that is their problem. Some are ok with receiving a regular massage.
Anyway, I will get off my soapbox and just say, thank you so much for your help and my best wishes to you as well :)
Best of luck to you hun. You seem intelligent and confident enough to do anything you want to put your mind to - and if this didn't make you happy and feel better about yourself, you've definitely made the right choice. Best of luck to you.
Now that you've gone legit, I wonder if you could provide some feedback on my situation. I'm a married woman of 20 years who loves sensual massage from women - while my husband watches. I do not expect the masseuse to go past the boundaries of her comfort, however lately my husband has been invited to "help" near the end of the massage and it's gotten very naughty.
It's honestly helped our marriage so much and rekinkled sparks we haven't had since we were 20 and dating. My question is - would this be more or less of an offensive request than what your used to, and are am is it so unusual that I sound like a freak when asking?
Thanks - your blog is wonderful and I truly wish you the best in the future.
Two weeks ago, I decided to go to Madrid for work, and to relax a little I went to give me an erotic massage, and that was really surprising. I was introduced to all available masseuses I explained in English and some may end up massage with sex. The place was very clean, with all the waste material, and very pretty girls with good bodies, chose a massage with two girls and I got the massage playing with one another and not let touch me and excite me, until finally ending with I sex with one of the girls back for sure, a very good site.
www.masajesciudadlineal.com
I have been a regular (twice monthly) client of an excellent female LMT for over ten years. She has always operated out of a single rented office in a medical building in a residential neighborhood. She advertises sparingly and only when word-of-mouth falls short. Moreover, she has never resorted to advertising venues that might place her in some grey area, such as craigslist, back page, or local alternative newspaper.
She has never offered nor have I event hinted at sexual relief. However, we have become close enough friends that she will share the creepiest phone calls and her experience with a rare pervert client.
That is how you do it. You, on the other hand, advertised in areas in which you will attract creeps and then use that mistake as an excuse to cross the line from LMT to prostitute. Furthermore, you mistake your status as an incompetent prostitute with some high moral stature that qualifies you to judge those creeps, who are, on balance, no worse than you are.
You are morally clueless and the biggest creep in your stories.
Are you doing OK?
Thank you
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