Sunday, November 13, 2011
I set a new deadline for myself
I have been doing a lot of thinking the last few week and I have decided that I will continue doing sensual massages for the next 6 months, which is still within my initial plan to not go past a year with this. I find myself avoiding taking calls and only seeing clients when my finances can't stretch any further. I know ending a massage with a happy ending is illegal here and even though I feel people should be able to make their own decisions, I think doing this bothers me in a moral sense as well and that's why it's been a struggle for me so far. I think in a way I feel like I sold my soul to the devil and I need to have something to show for it, therefore, I will continue for now. I was raised Catholic, haven't stepped into a Catholic church in years but I guess some of that "Catholic guilt" lingers on. I have to get past that and start making this work for me so that I will be in a different place financially by my deadline.
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4 comments:
Forget the Catholic guilt, how about being party to destroying marriages, breaking wives' hearts and sending dozens of children into single parent homes?
Sorry but can't take credit for all that. Whether I do this or not, a man who wants to go outside of his relationship will find a way to do so, with or without my help. There are many many choices for these men to pick from and there are women providing a lot more than I am for these men. I am a temporary part of this situation, the man is responsible for his relationship. I don't force anyone to get on my table.
I hope the. Hoices I make in my life never affect so many peoplein such a destructive way as your choices. If someone drives drunk and kills your child, are you going to say well they didn't force me to take a walk with my child that day or that drunk didnt't force me to be running errands at the very moment he/she decided to drive drunk. Oh well.
I get where you are coming from emotionally but your comparision is like apples and oranges. While both situations are desvastating the actions and consequences can't be compared. Married men who seek me out are making a conscious decision without being impaired.
I actually did a massage for a married men yesterday, I saw his ring after he was lying on the table. I don't like these men but guess what, he didn't call me asking if I would be offended if he came in wearing his wedding ring or not. After I let him know that I don't allow touching he kept asking me if I get upset when someone tries to touch me and that thought seemed to excite him the more he asked about it. In this particular case, I would think this douchbag's wife has other issues to worry about.
You seem to want to have someone else take responsiblity for the choices that a married man makes while knowing full well that there is a big chance that his choices will destroy his family. I hate that I have to deal with married men at all but they are the one's making the decision to contact me not the other way around. But I understand it might be easier to villify someone else in these situations.
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