I saw two new older clients today, probably both in their 60's so I guess the older crowd didn't all disappear. The first guy is someone I have seen at a place I go to, although, I don't actually "know" him he has definitely seen me there as well. I didn't even realize it was him until after he left, maybe he thought I just didn't want to acknowledge him but I was clueless until after. I expected at some point that something like this would happen. I don't particularly care about his opinion but there are other people he might say something to and I have suspected that some others might be aware of the new services I now offer.
***Turns out it was NOT the guy I thought it was, I thought he had dyed his gray hair black but it wasn't him. Phew!****
My ad is not disguised in any way and the way I look makes me stand out like a sore thumb. Even before this incident today, I have spent the last couple of days wondering if I really want to continue doing sensual massage. I don't feel bad about venturing into this but I also don't want to be known only as the happy ending massage girl. I think that my deciding to do sensual massage was my way of trying to gain some control over a situation that I felt powerless in and now I worry that if I attempt to go the route of therapeutic massage again I would just end up frustrated once again.
I think offering this service has helped me become less judgmental about other people, prior to this experience I thought women who provided happy endings were a disgrace to the massage community and now that I have walked in those shoes I see how it could happen. Everyone's story is different but for me money has played a huge part. I wasn't really making much doing legitimate massage and I was getting angrier with each encounter where I was propositioned to do more. So I made the conscious decision to go this route and now just a few months later I am questioning whether that decision was the right one for me.
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