I found happyendingz the blog by CJ (an erotic masseuse) a couple of months back while searching the topic online, before I actually made the final decision to start providing this service and I have really enjoyed reading it. Lately there's been a huge discussion/mudslinging going on over the topic of married men getting hand jobs from masseuses and whether is it cheating. Before I decided to do hand jobs the married men who came to me and were expecting a happy ending were the most upsetting clients for me because they just reinforced to me that men could not be trusted.
Due to some past issues I have been reluctant to let anyone into my life because I could not trust people. When I get an obviously married man on my table who is looking for extras it used to piss me off to no end. Since I started doing hand jobs I realize that I have to be detached from this work or I could get easily overwhelmed. I am starting to look at relationships and even life differently, people do things for all kinds of reasons that I may never understand. If I get to a place in the future where a relationship is possible for me, mentally I know I am not there now and absolutely not while I am still giving hand jobs to men, it would have to be someone I trust completely and if that trust gets betrayed he would be out the door. I may be guilty of some things but I only have control over my own actions and I refuse to take responsibility for another adult's decisions.
I do think that married men getting hand jobs from women other than their wives are cheating but at the end of the day the masseuse does not force anyone to pick up the phone and make an appointment. I feel the problem is between the couple and any woman who finds out that her man has been getting hand jobs needs to place the blame where it belong, on the cheating man since he is the one who is supposed to be committed to her and made the choice to step outside that commitment. It sucks but sometimes life throws lemons at you and you can either learn to love lemonade or quit.
3 comments:
I agree with your opinion about married men who get erotic massage. I consider it cheating. I was married for several years and I never did anything like getting erotic massage or going to strip clubs while I was. After I got divorced, I decided to try it out, but it was only as a poor substitute for having an actual relationship with a person. When I have an actual relationship again, I'll drop the massage thing like a hot potato.
I can understand your feeling that men cannot be trusted. Frankly, each man is an individual. In my opinion, any man who would trade a relationship with a real person for an experience that is just a commercial transaction is kind of sad. Heck, I think it's kind of sad that I do what I do, but at some point I wanted some kind of intimate contact with another person. Some men are faithful to their spouses because that is what they want to do and that is how they want to be. They do exist. I was one of them and I hope to be one of them again.
It’s good you feel you can stop when you are in a relationship, for some men it seems to be an addiction. There might be hope for you yet since you recognize that this is a poor substitute for an actual relationship My own personal experiences with men has not been very good and my current “job” does not help to make my opinion any better. You sound like a nice guy and I hope you find the right person to have a real relationship with.
Actually, I'm sure that I can stop when I'm in a real relationship. I have had serious relationships from time-to-time after my divorce and I didn't even think about anything else then. Some guys do act like they have an addiction to massage/prostitution/etc. even when they are married or with a "significant other", but I'm just not wired up that way.
Thanks for your kind wishes. I guess I'll see what happens for me in the future. :)
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