Hall Of Shame

The phony therapeutic client: These are the types of clients that a legitimate massage therapist does not want yet they are usually the targets of these guys. I had a couple of these when I was doing only therapeutic work and their behavior makes every other client suspect. They know just enough medical terminology to confuse you into thinking they have a legitimate problem area. I will be putting up some of my “favorites” hall of shame candidates. Here is #1

JOSE – he obviously has money, in his late 50’s or early 60’s. He said he had problems with his right thigh, specifically the Sartorius, a muscle that goes from the front of the hip and crosses the thigh diagonally. So it could be logical that he also had issues with his glutes and oh, he had some elbow pain as well, although we didn’t spend any time on his elbow. He usually wanted a 90 minutes session. The majority of that time was spent massaging his lower ab area and the pain seem to move a lot, usually lower and it was not an easy task trying to keep him covered as I tried to massage away his phantom pain. During one of his earlier sessions with me once he reached out and touched my back and I told him not to do that, I only do therapeutic work. I didn’t think he would come back but he did.

Because the sessions were longer my cd would finish playing and I would have to go restart it and I started to notice that every time I came back, although he was still covered by the sheet, his “package” had been moved to the area that I am working on. He knew there would be no way for me to work on that area without somehow brushing against it or I would have to physically move it out of the way so I worked around it but I could see he was enjoying the friction from the sheet rubbing against him as I worked. He would get a massage 2-3 times a week and this went on for about 3 months. I knew by now he didn’t really want nor need a therapeutic massage although he was still claiming he had those same issues in the thigh area. I really didn’t want to deal with him anymore and usually wasn’t returning his calls. One day when he scheduled a session I had a surprise for him and I treated him to a heat pack treatment on his hips and thigh and barely used my hands. That got rid of him. Soon afterwards I stopped doing massage.

After my break from doing massage, I placed an ad on craigslist, knowing that I would very likely be getting the same types of people again. On the second day of my ad he called for an appt. but didn’t know it was me, I had a new number and address but I recognized his number and told him it was me. He said I had mentioned moving away so he thought I wasn’t doing massage anymore but he wanted the appt. We started the cycle over again and one day we were talking about sensual massage and I said I had been thinking about it but not sure I was comfortable yet with the idea. While massaging him I “think” I accidentally brushed against his penis and if I did it truly was an accident. He started trying to rub my breast and asking if he could massage me and telling me that he is very good and I have known him for such a long time and should trust him by now. At this point he is sitting up and holding on to my wrist pretty tightly and asking to massage me so I agree to let him massage my back. He is telling me how good he is at doing massage but I refuse to let him touch anywhere else. As he was leaving he grabbed me and started kissing me, I kept my mouth closed and can smell that he had onions with lunch and I just looked at him until he finally stopped. He says that I started it because I touched him, umm, it’s called a massage, that’s what I do. He called about two weeks later for an appointment and said he didn’t think he did anything wrong. I told him he needed to find someone else to massage him. This was BEFORE I even started doing sensual massage.