I found happyendingz the blog by CJ (an erotic masseuse) a couple of months back while searching the topic online, before I actually made the final decision to start providing this service and I have really enjoyed reading it. Lately there's been a huge discussion/mudslinging going on over the topic of married men getting hand jobs from masseuses and whether is it cheating. Before I decided to do hand jobs the married men who came to me and were expecting a happy ending were the most upsetting clients for me because they just reinforced to me that men could not be trusted.
Due to some past issues I have been reluctant to let anyone into my life because I could not trust people. When I get an obviously married man on my table who is looking for extras it used to piss me off to no end. Since I started doing hand jobs I realize that I have to be detached from this work or I could get easily overwhelmed. I am starting to look at relationships and even life differently, people do things for all kinds of reasons that I may never understand. If I get to a place in the future where a relationship is possible for me, mentally I know I am not there now and absolutely not while I am still giving hand jobs to men, it would have to be someone I trust completely and if that trust gets betrayed he would be out the door. I may be guilty of some things but I only have control over my own actions and I refuse to take responsibility for another adult's decisions.
I do think that married men getting hand jobs from women other than their wives are cheating but at the end of the day the masseuse does not force anyone to pick up the phone and make an appointment. I feel the problem is between the couple and any woman who finds out that her man has been getting hand jobs needs to place the blame where it belong, on the cheating man since he is the one who is supposed to be committed to her and made the choice to step outside that commitment. It sucks but sometimes life throws lemons at you and you can either learn to love lemonade or quit.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Please stay away from my @sshole!
I have been thinking about offering prostate massage but I need a guinea pig and my older gentleman client (I'll refer to him as "First" from now on :-) says he has no interest in it. When I massage the perineum area the men seem to reaaalllllly like it and I have read that some men find it very enjoyable. I have gloves and lube but no prostate to massage.
This kind of brings me to my topic, men and their fascination with buttholes. I have no interest in getting anything anywhere near my butthole but some men I have dated in the past seemed to want to attempt to stick their finger in there and for me that is a one way street. I have/had a client who was attempting the same thing while I was massaging him last week. I wear panties/women boy shorts and a lace cami during the massage and I keep them on. I allow some touching within limit and inside the panties is off limits. This guy kept trying to go to no man's land and I kept moving away and he would grab my arm tightly, this happened several times and I eventually just stood still and clenched tightly while I finished jerking him off. In my experience, guys who don’t respect the set boundaries will just keep trying to do more each time you see them. This was his second session with me and he asked if he could come back, he gave me a very generous tip but it won't make up for him ignoring my boundaries and leaving a bruise on my arm. He is now on my "avoid" list.
This kind of brings me to my topic, men and their fascination with buttholes. I have no interest in getting anything anywhere near my butthole but some men I have dated in the past seemed to want to attempt to stick their finger in there and for me that is a one way street. I have/had a client who was attempting the same thing while I was massaging him last week. I wear panties/women boy shorts and a lace cami during the massage and I keep them on. I allow some touching within limit and inside the panties is off limits. This guy kept trying to go to no man's land and I kept moving away and he would grab my arm tightly, this happened several times and I eventually just stood still and clenched tightly while I finished jerking him off. In my experience, guys who don’t respect the set boundaries will just keep trying to do more each time you see them. This was his second session with me and he asked if he could come back, he gave me a very generous tip but it won't make up for him ignoring my boundaries and leaving a bruise on my arm. He is now on my "avoid" list.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Where have all my old men gone?
I just realized that I am not getting any new older clients coming for massage. Initially, it seemed most of the men who contacted me were 50+, there was even one guy who looked and walked like he must have been 80. Sweet guy, he brought me roses from his garden the second time he came to see me and then he would call to say hello but I think he was living on a limited income and couldn't really afford coming to see me so I didn't encourage him to keep contacting me. I think I was attracting older guys because I was dressing more conservatively and now that my clothing in my ads reveals some skin it is attracting the younger guys in their 30's. I miss the older men; they are usually better behaved, for the most part. The one older guy still getting a message from me is the one who was my happy endings guinea pig. I told him I liked him because he was not pushy and I think he was looking for things to go further between us and I have certainly let him get closer to me over the last months than anyone else but he is still a client and I have to keep within my boundaries and comfort zone. He even advised me to smile more in my ads when we first met, although, I don't know whether he likes the newer ads showing more skin or not.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Pushy Bob
When I started doing massage again after my hiatus I placed an ad on craigslist and one of the clients I got was “Bob1.” Right from the onset I did not have a good feeling about him and as soon as I touched him he would grind and moan, my ad stated therapeutic massage only and I was determined that I was not going to allow men like him to bother me this time around so I ignored his behavior. I always used a drape but was never one to avoid massaging the glutes and thighs and he would say that I was teasing because I would not do a happy ending.
He was very generous with tips but also seemed to want to exert some control. Once, after a session he asked about making another appt. for the end of the week at a certain time and I said I wasn’t sure if that time would work and asked him to call me. He called and left a message, asking after that time but I did not get back to him. He showed up anyway and stood outside knocking for a while before finally leaving. During his next appt. he never mentioned showing up here and neither did I.
He always seemed to want to linger around after his massage when I really wanted him to leave. With each appt. he was getting grabbier and after his last session with me he proceeded to grab me and massage my back after I had declined his offer of a massage as I was leading him out the door.
I didn’t hear from him for a while and then he suddenly started calling again and would leave messages about wanting an appt. but I never returned his calls. He would call every time I put up a new ad and sometimes even when I didn’t have an ad up, sometimes it would be a couple of times a week and I kept ignoring the calls hoping he would eventually give up. I think it got to a point where he was calling just to be annoying because I was not taking his calls.
I think he called from another phone pretending to be someone else and made an appt. that was a no show and there have been no more calls from him since then so I hope he has moved on now. I know he has been going to massage parlors for years so he could easily have moved on to the next girl who would be willing to take his money and make him happy. For whatever reason he seemed to think that he could force me to see him again and that will never happen because he gives me the creeps!
He was very generous with tips but also seemed to want to exert some control. Once, after a session he asked about making another appt. for the end of the week at a certain time and I said I wasn’t sure if that time would work and asked him to call me. He called and left a message, asking after that time but I did not get back to him. He showed up anyway and stood outside knocking for a while before finally leaving. During his next appt. he never mentioned showing up here and neither did I.
He always seemed to want to linger around after his massage when I really wanted him to leave. With each appt. he was getting grabbier and after his last session with me he proceeded to grab me and massage my back after I had declined his offer of a massage as I was leading him out the door.
I didn’t hear from him for a while and then he suddenly started calling again and would leave messages about wanting an appt. but I never returned his calls. He would call every time I put up a new ad and sometimes even when I didn’t have an ad up, sometimes it would be a couple of times a week and I kept ignoring the calls hoping he would eventually give up. I think it got to a point where he was calling just to be annoying because I was not taking his calls.
I think he called from another phone pretending to be someone else and made an appt. that was a no show and there have been no more calls from him since then so I hope he has moved on now. I know he has been going to massage parlors for years so he could easily have moved on to the next girl who would be willing to take his money and make him happy. For whatever reason he seemed to think that he could force me to see him again and that will never happen because he gives me the creeps!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Bargain Hunters
What is it with some guys trying to bargain down the rate of a sensual massage, I mean seriously? I just got off the phone with some guy who said he saw my ad and wanted a sensual massage but wanted to know if I would take $90 instead of the $100 listed in my ad. I told him I don't bargain and got off the phone. I understand the economy is not that great but a sensual massage is not a necessity and if you are so hard up for cash that you need to haggle the cost then perhaps your priorities need to be reexamined. I realized a while ago that I don't want these types of clients anyway because they are too cheap, usually won't tip and expect way too much for what they pay and I don't like doing a massage angry. I didn't start doing sensual massage because I find getting strange men off to be a turn on, I enjoy the work in the moment but it is a "job" nothing more and nothing less. If you can't afford to pay then do the job yourself :-)
Monday, October 17, 2011
Stinky D
Ok, this guy has been to see me twice and I can't figure out if he smells bad from BO or from not wiping after a BM, either way he stinks. I saw him for the first time about 3 weeks ago, he wanted a 30 minutes massage. I didn't initially smell him until I got close enough to start the massage. That first time I thought maybe he didn't get a chance to go take a shower after working (in a sewer) or something. The smell was tolerable and besides, he only wanted a half hour massage. I usually ask the guys to turn over so I can work on their front and they eagerly do so. This guy got on all fours instead and stuck his butt out and I am thinking, "this is different" but I go with it and he is getting very excited and then yells "stop, stop!" I immediately stop and ask if he is hurt and he says no it just felt really good and he is rubbing himself but apparently does not want an ending. That was an odd session.
About a week later he calls again for another 30 minute appointment, I agree to see him that afternoon. This time, the smell is apparent before I even get close to him and I do think it is a combination of BO and unwashed arse. I can't even pretend to put a smile on my face because the smell is so powerful and I attempt to hold my breath as I start working on him. I am using fingertips only and keeping my distance from him and mentally noting that I will not be taking any more calls from him. He decides that he wants to turn over and when he does I see a wart on his lower pelvis area and I knew that if he wasn't already going on my "avoid list" he would be after this. I am still barely touching him and I guess I was moving too slow for him so he grabs his junk and gives it a couple of swift tugs and he gave himself a happy ending and says "thanks, that was good." I am standing there trying to not look at the wart on his stomach and trying to decide whether to throw out the sheets that he is on or wash them separately from the rest of the laundry load.
After he leaves, I make a mental note that I will include having good hygiene in my new ads and I am seriously considering wearing gloves from now on. Some guys might enjoy it....
About a week later he calls again for another 30 minute appointment, I agree to see him that afternoon. This time, the smell is apparent before I even get close to him and I do think it is a combination of BO and unwashed arse. I can't even pretend to put a smile on my face because the smell is so powerful and I attempt to hold my breath as I start working on him. I am using fingertips only and keeping my distance from him and mentally noting that I will not be taking any more calls from him. He decides that he wants to turn over and when he does I see a wart on his lower pelvis area and I knew that if he wasn't already going on my "avoid list" he would be after this. I am still barely touching him and I guess I was moving too slow for him so he grabs his junk and gives it a couple of swift tugs and he gave himself a happy ending and says "thanks, that was good." I am standing there trying to not look at the wart on his stomach and trying to decide whether to throw out the sheets that he is on or wash them separately from the rest of the laundry load.
After he leaves, I make a mental note that I will include having good hygiene in my new ads and I am seriously considering wearing gloves from now on. Some guys might enjoy it....
Why I decided to offer erotic massage
If someone had told me six months ago that I would be providing erotic massage services to men I would have laughed because I never saw myself as "that type" I was more the type that was disgusted at the masseuse who provides that type of services and the customers who go to them. I did my first sensual massage (hand job) towards the end of June after some thought. I think people who know me personally would be very surprised if they knew that I crossed that line because I have always been very vocal about my dislike for the customers who seek happy endings. After massage school I was pretty unprepared to deal with clients that I encountered when I first started advertising on craigslist. I learned the hard way that just about everyone who responds to an ad from there is looking for "extras" even when, or especially when the ad states that you only do therapeutic massage, I think they see it as a challenge.
My first couple of months following massage school was frustrating because although most were respectful once I told them I was not providing those types of services many of the men claimed to have problems with their glutes and/or thighs in order to get me close to their genitals anyway. After about five months of this I was so angry that I took about a year off from doing massage and I started back last year to basically find the same types of men. I also started using another site that was similar to craigslist but the men on this site were more forthright about what they were looking for, most were not pretending to have some issues with their glutes/thighs.
I always wore pants and a top when doing a massage and I had offers to be paid more if I disrobed or did extras and I always declined. As the summer started business was slow and I had an older gentleman who came to me for a massage for the first time and he raved about what a great massage I gave (no happy ending). We talked quite a bit about everything and the topic came up and he said that it was fine if I don't provide that service he would be back anyway and he gave me a pretty big tip, for the first time I did not feel resentful towards a male client. I think I had started to reconsider my stance on sensual massage at that point and I told myself that it would not be the end of the world if I did cross that line. Also doing therapeutic massage was not bringing in a lot of clients and money was always a problem.
That gentleman returned and this time I ended the massage with the best hand job I knew how and he was pleasantly surprised. Over the next couple of months when he wasn't traveling he would get a weekly massage and I have polished my skills on him. In September I started advertising that I was providing sensual full body massages and the response have been quite good. I am trying to be more selective of who I accept now. When I feel I need a break I do not see clients for a week or two. I do not do massage in the nude, I now wear a sheer or crop top with some panty. Some men do get grabby and have I sometimes allowed a hand to wander up and down my legs only but most of the time I am out of their reach. I have been offered more money to go topless and have declined.
As of right now I feel ok with this and I am trying to have a plan in place so that I will not be in this situation in a year because this is not something I see myself doing on a long-term basis. The men are obviously getting something out of it and I am going to make sure that I get myself in a better financial position in the coming months so that I do not feel a need to continue this unless I want to.
My first couple of months following massage school was frustrating because although most were respectful once I told them I was not providing those types of services many of the men claimed to have problems with their glutes and/or thighs in order to get me close to their genitals anyway. After about five months of this I was so angry that I took about a year off from doing massage and I started back last year to basically find the same types of men. I also started using another site that was similar to craigslist but the men on this site were more forthright about what they were looking for, most were not pretending to have some issues with their glutes/thighs.
I always wore pants and a top when doing a massage and I had offers to be paid more if I disrobed or did extras and I always declined. As the summer started business was slow and I had an older gentleman who came to me for a massage for the first time and he raved about what a great massage I gave (no happy ending). We talked quite a bit about everything and the topic came up and he said that it was fine if I don't provide that service he would be back anyway and he gave me a pretty big tip, for the first time I did not feel resentful towards a male client. I think I had started to reconsider my stance on sensual massage at that point and I told myself that it would not be the end of the world if I did cross that line. Also doing therapeutic massage was not bringing in a lot of clients and money was always a problem.
That gentleman returned and this time I ended the massage with the best hand job I knew how and he was pleasantly surprised. Over the next couple of months when he wasn't traveling he would get a weekly massage and I have polished my skills on him. In September I started advertising that I was providing sensual full body massages and the response have been quite good. I am trying to be more selective of who I accept now. When I feel I need a break I do not see clients for a week or two. I do not do massage in the nude, I now wear a sheer or crop top with some panty. Some men do get grabby and have I sometimes allowed a hand to wander up and down my legs only but most of the time I am out of their reach. I have been offered more money to go topless and have declined.
As of right now I feel ok with this and I am trying to have a plan in place so that I will not be in this situation in a year because this is not something I see myself doing on a long-term basis. The men are obviously getting something out of it and I am going to make sure that I get myself in a better financial position in the coming months so that I do not feel a need to continue this unless I want to.
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